I received this email a month ago, I tried contacting Kelly with regard to her problem and I was not able to until last week. I am now publishing her email:
I stumbled your site and desparately seeking for every possible website on the web to help me. I am very confused with my relationship now. Let me begin to tell you the facts, I am 28, have a boyfriend who's 19. We've been together for almost one year. I am now in the brink of devastation. I want him badly to marry me. I know that he is younger. He once told me that he wants to marry me. I told him this yesterday but he never replied to my sms after that. Need advice.
It took me several weeks just to get in touch with Kelly. She left me an email address and mobile number. I left her several email and voice mail messages. I was able to get back to finding her last week and ask if she needs further help from me. I found out that the boyfriend she was referring to broke her heart. Kelly and I talked several hours on the phone and I was able to provide comfort at the time she needed someone to talk to. She have such a sweet voice and I know that she can survive this trial just as anyone else have.
I am sorry to hear that you and your boyfriend had called it quits. I may not understand but I feel for you. I still decided to publish this as there are many girls like you who had the same problem or at a dilemma. First off, I never see age as reason for not being into relationships. Although some may condemn a couple into one. In love, there are no boundaries, anyone can love, be into a commitment, it's just a matter of respect for one another's feelings/beliefs and individuality. I've known several in your position who until now are together, some of them are happily married and raising their own families. There is no secret really to the success of their relationships, it is only them who made their bonding into a realization.
I see no problem with two people in love though at different stature, especially on different age. It's either the man or woman who's more mature in terms of age. For you, since you called it quits, give yourself some time to mourn over a lost relationship but after that, stand firm with the hope for a brighter tomorrow. I am all ears for you Kelly, I salute you for being brave enough in facing this challenge. You gave yourself the opportunity to love and be loved back, be happy for that chance. I know it didn;t work out the way you'v forseen it but still, be thankful for those times.
Falling in love have consequences, one of which is failure. The relationship may have ended but not your life. You are doing him a favor, you gave him his freedom. Not that he dosen't love you enough to fight for that love. Women mature faster than men. He's 19, he isn't in his legal age yet. He hasn't enjoyed his life yet. He hasn't finished college. Now what will be your life if this would still be the scenatio once you guys got married? Again, you are doing him a favor, instead of you holding him back for his future, you are letting him go for a brighter future, his future. You are not selfishly in love with him, in fact, you are just being fair to him and to yourself. Instead of burrying yourslf into much pain, and the thought that you may not find someone to love you back, just as he loved you. See, you had a relationship with him, it is possible again for you to find love, but when that time comes, it will be the right person. Don't rush, let time heal your wounded heart. Start one day at a time and you'll get there.